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| Some of the most difficult people to crochet for are the men in our lives. Following these ultra simple instructions, you should be able to make a scarf that will get you grunts of approval from your favorite man. The men in our lives – the brothers, uncles, pops, husbands, sons, and best buds are some of the most difficult people on earth to thrill with a crochet project. Worse than a teenage girl. Worse than that aunt you have whose OCD is out of control. It isn’t because they’re picky. Far from it. Its because they’re so infuriatingly un-picky. When we press them for details, we may get an exasperated “I don’t care! I’ll love whatever you make me.” At most, we’ll get a color request, usually blue. While we appreciate the unconditional love, CAN WE GET A LITTLE GUIDANCE HERE?? Luckily for this project, my friend Paul gave me some specifics. “Blue,” he said. Like we didn’t see that one coming. “Just a simple scarf, with nothing frilly.” Man says “blue.” Man says “simple.” Man says “scarf.” You got it. Let’s crack open a brewski and get started. ***Special thanks to my son for modeling this scarf despite the fact that it was 90 degrees in the shade*** | |
| Sizes and Materials List … | |
| Size: | |
| Hook(s): | US H/8 (5.00 mm) |
| Yarn: | I used Jo Sharp Silk Road DK Tweed (85% Wool, 10% Silk, 5% Cashmere) (2 balls) because it was in my stash. Do me a favor and keep the fiber content to yourself and tell him it was a new kind of steel wool or something. |
| Recommended Yarn: | I tested this pattern again with Caron Simply Soft and I liked the results much better. |
| Notions: | 1 yarn needle. Any other notions you wish to have about the world and its inhabitants are optional. |
| Gauge: | Paying careful attention to these directions should yield you a manly scarf in no time. |
| Notes … | |
| Stitches Used | |
| Abbreviations | |
| Special Stitches | |
| Abbreviations | |
| Instructions … | |
| Base Chain | Chain 20. |
| Row 1 | Hdc in the second chain from the hook and in each chain to the end. Turn (18 stitches). |
| Row 2 | Ch 2, turn, hdc in each stitch to the end. |
| Rows 3- whatever | Repeat Row 2 until you’re satisfied with the length. |
| Final row | Ch 1, sc crochet across |
| Finishing … | |
| Fasten off and weave in your ends. Congratulations! | |
| Extra instructions below are optional and are meant solely to keep you focused on the task at hand. | |
| Row 35 | This is a simple pattern. You’re probably bored enough to want to watch the latest MTV reality show offering. I suggest you switch over to a home improvement program instead. Try to stay awake while the grout dries. |
| Row 52 | Practice saying words like “conduit” and “flange.” |
| Row 67 | By this time, you’re starting to wonder when it will end. Don’t worry, you’ll finish this WAY before that dishwasher gets fixed or the garage gets cleaned out. |
| Row 86 | Almost done. Take a break to take a swig out of the soda bottle. If you empty it, be sure to put it back in the fridge. |
| Row 90 | You should be feeling the macho by now. Resist the urge to try peeing standing up. |
| Pattern and photos © Alia Smith (Originally published in Winter 2008 edition of Crochet Uncut) | |
