Some of the most difficult people to crochet for are the men in our lives. Following these ultra simple instructions, you should be able to make a scarf that will get you grunts of approval from your favorite man.
***Special thanks to my son for modeling this scarf despite the fact that it was 90 degrees in the shade***
The men in our lives – the brothers, uncles, pops, husbands, sons, and best buds are some of the most difficult people on earth to thrill with a crochet project. Worse than a teenage girl. Worse than that aunt you have whose OCD is out of control. It isn’t because they’re picky. Far from it. It’s because they’re so infuriatingly un-picky.
When we press them for details, we may get an exasperated “I don’t care! I’ll love whatever you make me.” At most, we’ll get a color request, usually blue. While we appreciate the unconditional love, CAN WE GET A LITTLE GUIDANCE HERE??
Luckily for this project, my friend Paul gave me some specifics. “Blue,” he said. Like we didn’t see that one coming. “Just a simple scarf, with nothing frilly.”
Man says “blue.”
Man says “simple.”
Man says “scarf.”
You got it. Let’s crack open a brewski and get started.
Materials:
Yarn: I used Jo Sharp Silk Road DK Tweed (85% Wool, 10% Silk, 5% Cashmere) (2 balls) because it was in my stash. Do me a favor and keep the fiber content to yourself and tell him it was a new kind of steel wool or something.
Recommended yarn: I tested this pattern again with Caron Simply Soft and I liked the results much better.
Hook: US H/8 (5.00 mm)
Notions: 1 yarn needle. Any other notions you wish to have about the world and its inhabitants are optional.
Paying careful attention to these directions should yield you a manly scarf in no time.
Chain 20.
Row 1 – Hdc in the second chain from the hook and in each chain to the end. Turn (18 stitches).
Row 2 – Ch 2, turn, hdc in each stitch to the end.
Rows 3 through …whatever – Repeat Row 2 until you’re satisfied with the length.
Final Row: Ch 1, sc crochet across
Fasten off and weave in your ends.
Congratulations!
Extra instructions below are optional and are meant solely to keep you focused on the task at hand.
Row 35 – This is a simple pattern. You’re probably bored enough to want to watch the latest MTV reality show offering. I suggest you switch over to a home improvement program instead. Try to stay awake while the grout dries.
Row 52 – Practice saying words like “conduit” and “flange.”
Row 67 – By this time, you’re starting to wonder when it will end. Don’t worry, you’ll finish this WAY before that dishwasher gets fixed or the garage gets cleaned out.
Row 86 – Almost done. Take a break to take a swig out of the soda bottle. If you empty it, be sure to put it back in the fridge.
Row 90 – You should be feeling the macho by now. Resist the urge to try peeing standing up.
Pattern and photo © Alia Smith